I scared God & Looked What Happened!

13 May 2016

I scared God.  At least according to my friend Luis.  22 years ago, I hit my knees on the floor of my Phoenix apartment and told God, I got it.  If it was just Him and me for the rest of my life, that would be enough for me.  Now I was honest mind you.  I am fully aware that God is omniscient.  So no use holding anything back.  I was quick to add that it was not the desire of my heart, but if if that is what he wanted, that would be enough for me.  I tried on my own to find someone on this earth to love me.  I used to say I was a “Loser Magnet”, until I realized that I was the one doing the choosing.(With the exception of one extraordinary man who led me to a small church that led me to Christ)  A dear friend of mine was in an impossible situation at one time and couldn’t make anyone happy.  His take away:  “Everyone can’t be wrong. It must be him.”  Another dear friend had countless heartbreaks, only to be told that she was the common denominator in all of the breakups.  OUCH!  Early in May 1994 I sat on my bed after a particularly devastating attempt to fill that hole in my heart, and I realized I was thecommon denominator, it was ME.  I had forgotten something when I gave my heart to God 3 years before….ONLY HE CAN FILL THAT HOLE, because it is a God-shaped whole.  That’s when I got out of bed and hit my knees and prayed.  That’s the part that Luis says scared God, the thought of it just being Him and me scared Him enough to move in a big way on Friday May 13th 1994.

It was the beginning of the Western Conference Championship between the Phoenix Suns and the Houston Rockets.  We were producing our newscasts from the AmericaWest Arena.  My  friend and boss Abbie was expecting her first child and not feeling her best and didn’t warm to the thought of running around in 100 degree plus temperatures.  So she asked me to produce.  Just before the 5pm show, armed with scripts and notes, I entered the arena filled with a mob of media. Music blaring.  The Suns Cheerleaders practicing their dance routine. Behind them, the team mascot, a gorilla-slammed dunking baskets from a mini tramp.  And then there was SILENCE.  Nothing, but a clear voice saying, “There’s the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with”.  No, not the gorilla.  Just behind him, next to my team, stood a man I had never seen before, not Phoenix media.  Sound resumed.  I handed over scripts.  Went out to the satellite, white as a ghost.  The engineer asked if I was alright.  Of course I said I was.  Who would believe that story?

Before the 6pm, I went in with scripts.   No voices.  Just peace.  After the 6pm, I went in to say “Good-bye and good job” to the crew.  And then Danny Harnden from KVOA in Tucson introduced himself.  My immediate reaction was to say I wasn’t Abbie, as my credentials said.  I introduced myself and to my surprise, he called me by my nickname, “Sam”.  It didn’t register until later.  He had been asking my crew about me.  They had told him to forget about me because I was a christian.  It was meant to repel but had the opposite effect.  Danny claims to have received a “word” that night as well.  BONGO.  That’s name brand of the jeans I was wearing and the leather tag was on the back pocket.  Not as spiritual, a little more worldly.  But it’s his story,

We saw each other again for the next home game.  But the Suns were losing the series.  So Danny loaned me a VHS tape of a song called In Christ Alone and how it helped Frank Reich lead the Buffalo Bills from a 32 point deficit to win a NFL Playoff game.  It remains the biggest comeback in NFL history(Young people, a VHS tape is a Video Home System tape that was rectangular in shape that recorded and played back videos before DVDs) Back to our story,  if the Suns lost the Series, I would have the tape and a way to see him again.

The Suns did lose.  We like to say we won.  I returned the tape two weeks later on our first date Memorial Day weekend.  6 weeks later we were engaged.  We we married within 6 months.  The theme of our wedding:  In Christ Alone.  In that brief bit of time, God caused us both to step out of ourselves and not act like we normally would.  I wasn’t nsecure.  Danny wasn’t afraid of commitment.  It was all a God Thing.The 

You would think I would never forget a watershed moment like that.  You would think.  But here we are at another Friday, May 13th and I have forgotten my Miracle Moment.  I am like the Israelites in the movie “The Ten  Commandments”.  God parted the Red Sea and delivered them from their Egyptian captors.  Their Miracle Moment.  Then they found themselves wandering around the desert and forgot about it while Moses was on the mountain getting the Ten Commandments zapped onto the tablets.  Great special effects.  Anyway, the crowd turns ugly and wants out of the desert.  Apparently the God who parted water doesn’t do miracles in parched, barren land, so they demand a new one…a golden calf.  There’s a point coming. Stand-by.  For a number of years now, I’ve forgotten my “Miracle Moment”.  But I haven’t been like the ugly crowd demanding a new god, I’ve been the golden calf-which you might remember-strongly resembled a bull.  I can be plenty bull headed. I’ve been playing god. I’ve struck bargains with God that he can take care of big things, like the Middle East or finding better Presidential candidates. I’ll take care of my marriage, my children, my life and when things didn’t turn out the way I wanted or planned-devastation.

We have suffered parenting problems, marriage issues and family crises that I would not wish on my worst enemy.  Yet instead of turning to the God who gave me Danny, I have turned to ME.  And what a horrible job I have done.  The best part(or the worst)is the more that things spun out of control, the tighter I held on.

There’s a story of tribe that traps monkeys by putting a banana in a cage with a small hole.  The monkey smells the banana, reaches in and grabs it.  He is caught when he tries to pull his hand out and can’t because the opening is not big enough for his clenched fist.  He squeals and jumps up and down and makes all kinds of noise, which alerts the hunters.  Of course it is a sad end for the monkey.  But he could have been free all along if he would have given up what he was holding on so tightly to.  That is me.  I too can be free if I would only stop holding on so tightly.  

Again, there’s that common denominator rearing it’s ugly head…ME!  Thankfully, as luck would have it,  it is Friday May 13, 2016. A perfect time to hit my knees and stop trying on my own.   God doesn’t need my help.  I need His.  I need to get out of his way and let Him have His way.  After all, look what happened the last time.  Didn’t end up so bad for me.  Have you seen my husband??

Jeremiah 29:11New International Version (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.