Children Are Parrots

Every mom has said, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything.” Now more than ever, we need to heed that advice. We live in a day and age where friends “Unfriend” friends on social media, family members turn on one another, and it is sport to name call. God said it better than our moms when he instructed us to make everything we say pleasing to his ears. Friends weigh your words. Are they a blessing to God? Do you rationalize what you say because “you are right.” It isn’t about you. It is about God. Our sole purpose on earth is to bring glory to God. Let your words be pleasing to Him and a blessing to all who hear them.

Fight Or Flight

Nothing kicks in your fight or flight mode faster than a call from your crying young adult daughter telling you that someone is trying to get $5000 out of her and threatening her with arrest. It was a scam, of course. But they plied her with so much information, instructions, and threats that her head spun, and she didn’t know which way was up. Like a good mom and former investigative television producer(sometimes the same thing), I gathered all the details, made some calls, and most importantly, prayed with her. How fortunate that our verse yesterday commanded us: “DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING, BUT IN EVERYTHING, THROUGH PRAYER AND PETITION WITH THANKSGIVING, PRESENT YOUR REQUESTS TO GOD.” It came to mind straight away, still fresh. And so we prayed. Surrounded by the three little charges I watch every day, I prayed this aloud and laid it before the Lord. I called on every verse I could think of, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7). Finally, we prayed that God would give her peace that surpasses our understanding. How great is our God that he would have laid this verse before me yesterday morning as I wrote my blog, knowing I would need to stand on it later that day. His word equips us. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness”(2 Timothy 3:16). This life is too tough to go it alone. God gave us his word as a love letter and an instruction book. He gave us fellow believers to help us when we falter. Turn to Him first and surround yourself with people who tell you the truth in a world of lies.

#itsaharndenlife

Slum To Seashore

#itsaharndenlife

I took the long weekend from writing to visit with my two sisters at the beach. Both have experienced the same heartbreak within six months of each other, the death of their husbands.

Sunshine, salt air, the sound of waves, and sister time will cure almost anything that ails you. God’s best medicine requires you to trust His plan even when it makes no sense. He has immeasurably more for us than we can ask or imagine.

Author C.S. Lewis, who wrote the Narnia series, puts it this way. “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

We will stay in the slums of life, seeking out anything but God to find happiness and relief from the pain of life. He offers unbridled joy, like the children playing on the beach. He knocks at the door of our hearts with the offer of infinite joy. It is His power that will do the work. Open the door to your heart and let Him in.  He is able to do more than we can ever ask or imagine!

A Mighty Fortress

Travel down the Rhine River in Germany, and you will see castles, castles, castles. The ones on the riverbank collected tolls from passing ships. The ones perched above provided a fortified safe haven. An advancing enemy would be sitting ducks as they tried to scale the rocky cliffs. Stone walls and moats bolstered the protection for those within the fortress.

God is our safe haven. God wants us to run to him when the enemy attacks, not mount our own fight. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”(John 10:10)

We can try to fight the battle, but we will never have God’s abundant life until we put our faith and trust in Him. “God is our mighty fortress, always ready to help in times of trouble.”(Psalm 46:1) Run to the high place and safety.

Three’s A Crowd??

Ever notice what a bad rap the number three gets? Three strikes and you are out; A three-ring circus; Three sheets to the wind; Three alarm fire, 3rd Wheel. Sadly, deaths seem to come in threes. One famous person dies, followed quickly by two others. Then there is our title, “Three’s A Crowd” Or is it?

Recently the word “discipline” popped up in my life three times. Not the kind of discipline where you get spanked with a wooden spoon. To this day, I run if someone gets one out to cook! No, the kind of discipline that kept coming to me meant “Focused.” There’s no discipline when we run around like chickens with their heads cut off. More than likely, we are doing the urgent over the important and succeeding at nothing.

I wore many hats when I worked as a television series and documentary producer. The more I did, the more valuable I thought I was. My evaluation came up, and I was confident it would be excellent. My boss looked at me and said, “Sandy, you are doing a lot of things. But you are not doing anything well.” Ouch, Not the evaluation I thought I would get! To this day, his voice resounds in my head when I run around like those chickens. I need discipline and focus. Discipline requires prioritization. Putting first things first, and let everything else follow.

The most life-changing reference to discipline popped up at our recent Family Life Weekend To Remember Marriage Retreat. Apparently, it takes discipline to have a good marriage. And it takes three. In marriage, three is not a crowd. You cannot be a good spouse without divine intervention. Left to my own devices, I will always want my way, and my husband will want his. Add God to the relationship. Seek God’s way. He will draw us together. 

The Bible has this to say about God and marriage:

“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!

Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.” (Ecclesiastes 4:19-12 MSG)

The third rope is GOD! He makes the relationship stronger.

Ironically discipline came up with a study my group is doing on REST. Really. How much discipline does it take to rest? Seems counterintuitive. Look in the mirror, and look at the world around you. Work, cell phones, computers, and television keep your mind spinning, preventing you from resting. There is so much noise and distraction running us all over the place.

“A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.” (1 Kings 19:11) God is in the still, small whisper drowned out by the disasters and the busyness of our lives. We need to be disciplined in Rest to hear it.

At church, discipline came up yet again. REST- beginning to sense a pattern. The pastor pointed out that we are running from something God intended for our good, for us to receive. He said that Rest is entering into a relationship with God, and that He is in the Rest, not the craziness of life. I mentioned it in a previous Blog, God rested. Jesus went away from the crowds to rest. He explained why, “I’m telling you these things while I’m still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught.”(John 14:27 MSG)

So there it is. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit–our faith exists on the foundation of three-the Trinity, Apart from them, there is no rest or peace. Three is not a crowd. Three makes us complete. The number three appears over a hundred times in the Bible. Three Wisemen honored the Lord, Jonah spent three days in the belly of a fish, the man robbed on the road to Jericho encountered three men, only one helped, and most importantly, Jesus rose from the dead after three days. There is power in three.

One scholar puts it this way, “The number 3 biblically represents divine wholeness, completeness, and perfection. If there ever was a desire to highlight an idea, thought, event, or noteworthy figure in the Bible for their prominence, the number 3 was used to put a divine stamp of completion or fulfillment on the subject.”

It takes discipline to stop, rest and hear the still, small voice. We must stop doing so much that we are not doing anything well. We need to invite the Lord into every area of our lives. God did not need to rest on the seventh day; He’s GOD. He always leads by example, showing us the importance of this discipline to give us peace and hope.

“You keep him in perfect peace
    whose mind is stayed on you,
    because he trusts in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)

Put God’s way ahead of your own, learn the discipline of rest and find peace in your soul.

Wrestling Life

The other day, one of my favorite pastors preached on wrestling. Yes, wrestling. Now, this is near and dear to my heart because I went to a private high school where wrestling ruled the school. All the big guys went to public school to play football for a shot at a college scholarship, leaving us with a football team as smaller than our marching band.

Our wrestling team took States back-to-back for decades. If you know the sport, you have to be the exact weight of that class. If you are wrestling at a certain weight class, you have to weigh precisely that weight. Except for the heavyweight division, you can tip the scales from 183 to 285. This brings me to the sermon.

The pastor’s son wrestles. At the most recent tournament, he sat in front of the mom of the heavyweight. Her son’s opponent had about a 100-pound advantage. As her son struggled to escape under the heft, the mom repeatedly yelled, “GET UP!” If you have ever attended a wrestling tournament, you know the decibel level rivals only a jet engine. The wrestlers sport headgear to protect their ears, muffling coaching cries and from the stands. But imagine he did hear her. Heavily outmatched, no doubt his thought would be, “Oh, “GET UP,” what a novel idea; I wish I had thought of that.”

Much to my extreme dismay, my son wrestled in middle and high school, all gangling 110 pounds of him. His middle school coach had a two-prong approach to the sport. He’d yell, “What are you doing?” and “Do something!” The second answers the first. They aren’t doing anything, but probably not by choice.

We are like the coach and the lady in the stands. We advise from the “School of the Bleeding Obvious” to loved ones struggling under a heavy weight. We are a Buck Up Bucko society. We tell people to “get over it” and “move on”; worse, we compare our burdens to theirs. All the while, they are dying for someone to come along and help them get on their feet.

People will disappoint us. God never will. He tells us, “Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin.” (Hebrews 4:13-16 MSG)

Jesus gets us. He experienced excruciating pain. His people rejected him and even his disciples. On the cross, He felt emotionally and spiritually abandoned by God. Yet, he called out to the only one who could remove the heavy weight-His Father.

Maybe you battle chronic pain, depression, or rejection from family or friends. Jesus gets it. He’s been there, done that. He warned, “But I’m not abandoned. The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that, trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world, you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” (John 16:33 MSG) Great. We are GOING to have problems. But we won’t have to figure out how to “Do something!” ourselves. We have someone who will help us “GET UP!” 

How do I know this? Jesus said it. “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me, and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me, and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”(Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)

Stop listening to sideline coaches. Find people who share the love and support of God with you. Stop wrestling with problems too big for you to carry. Stop fighting that heavyweight who grossly outmatches you. Consider the words of the one who has already done that for you. Keep company with Jesus and learn to live freely and lightly.

Don’t Let The Sun Go Down

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. (Psalm 19:1)

Elton John sang it: “Losing everything was like the sun going down on me…”

One man’s loss is another’s gain. Walking my dog the other day, we came upon a young man late twenties or early thirties, young by my standards. He stood between two golf holes, seemingly staring into a field of waist-high grass. True to my wanna-be comic nature, I told him he could take a drop if he hit it in there. Without looking in my direction, he replied in a way I did not expect from someone his age or anyone in this day and age. “I’m watching the sunset,” he spoke quietly to not to disturb the scene, which I already had done. Struck by his intentional rest, we took our sarcastic selves (okay, mine) and moved along, leaving him to soak in the beauty of the last rays of sunshine.

Beauty surrounds us and enhances our lives. No one runs through The Louvre, snatching glimpses of the work of masters. Yet we run through life missing the Master’s Work. Even on my walk, I miss the obvious.

“ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” Job 12:7-10

But I’m walking for exercise, mine and my slightly overweight pooch. I have to keep up the pace; no time to stop or slow down. That is the battle cry of so many of us. Keep going. Faster. Slow down, and someone or thing will pass you, never mind what you are passing so quickly by in the blur of life. God did rest, finished His work, and rested on the seventh day. Yet it is an aged old struggle:

“For thus the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said, ‘In repentance and rest, you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength.’ But you were not willing,” (Isaiah 30:15)

REST? QUIET? Who has time for that? You, me, all of us. It is our STRENGTH. That young man on the golf, so calm and peaceful, resting. No appearance of anxiety or stress. We met a couple of weeks later as he headed to his vantage point. I inquired if he was off to watch the sunset. Shocked that I knew that, he asked how. He didn’t remember me- or my much more adorable Goldendoodle! So enraptured by the painted sky, he didn’t even lose focus of what was important that day, and it wasn’t me. That is strength. To be able to tune out all the noise and distractions in this world and see the beauty

Beauty exists in every part of our lives, not just in nature. Look no further than into the eyes and hearts of your family and friends, the kindness of a stranger, the ecstatic wag of your dog’s tail when you walk in the door, and the cat that wraps around your legs. God shows us his love in so many ways. Don’t let the sun go down without noticing the beauty in the blessings. Missing out would truly be losing everything.

Daddy Little Girl, Sam I Am

Happy Father’s Day!

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14 Jun, 2016

On my wedding day, my daddy took me down the aisle and gave my hand to my husband. My heart, forever held on to him. My entire life, my daddy wore many hats. He was protector, provider, supporter and advisor; the wrestler of a “4 Girl Tag Team”, Santa’s helper (who stayed up all night assembling toys), our “Family” doctor for removing splinters and trimming nails, Chex Party Mix maker, pop corn popper, turkey and stuffing roaster, a horsy back ride to bed, car mechanic and handyman who always lived up to the battle cry, “Daddy can fix it!” -broken toys, appliances, cars or hearts. We truly believed that with all of ours.

I am the youngest of 4 girls. No boys for my dad. He said he was never disappointed at the words, “It’s a girl.” I believe him. Growing up, I was at his side, working on cars, changing oil, brake pads, and setting the timing. I handed him tools and wedged my hands into tight spaces he couldn’t reach under the hood of cars, sinks, etc.  I carried wheel barrels full of grass clippings over the hill when he mowed the lawn. Afterwards, we’d watch golf in the family room or play in the pool.  He nicknamed me Sam. I was his son.

We moved to Missouri, where my dad hired employees for a new Westinghouse plant. In Jefferson City, it was known as “My Dad’s Plant”. Friends would ask me, “Can you get me a job at your dad’s plant?” Everyone knew my dad. He ran for public office, sat on nearly every board ever formed, and built sets for the local Little Theater. But Westinghouse was his life. He worked there nearly 40 years.  

There’s a debate whether the McGrath girls bleed Westinghouse Blue or Black and Gold.  My dad loved the Pittsburgh Steelers, a passion that he passed along to us all.  I grew up watching Terry Bradshaw take the Steelers to four Super Bowls with my dad.  Lynn Swann, John Stallworth, Franco Harris, L.C. Greenwood, Mean Joe Greene, Rocky Blieir.  His favorite-Jack Lambert.  He called him “The Animal”.    He loved them when they won and when they lost.  He was a good sport.  A fair man.  Loyal.


Of all the lessons I learned from my daddy, the one that has always stayed with me is, “No one ever said life was going to be fair” as a child, not much comfort there.  As an adult, more valid words have never been said.  Still, my dad always worked to make our lives better than his.   Once, when I struggled in TV News, my dad tried to get me a job at the Westinghouse site where he worked. He even went looking for apartments for me and showed it to me when I visited for Christmas. I was so touched. He later told me that he had failed us girls. Completely at a loss, I asked how. He said that because he never let us see him fail. I was a full grown adult, and my dear sweet dad was still taking responsibility for my frailties. What a heart full of love.

In 1990, that heart suffered an attack, lost 40% of its muscle, and a downward spiral began. The doctors told us that he needed a new heart, but he was too old to get one. It looked bleak. They underestimated my father.

Four years later, my dad walked me down that aisle. He proudly gave away his Baby. At the reception, that dear had picked out a song for our dance-“Daddy’s Little Girl”. He sang every word of it in my ear. Best day of my life with the best men in my life.

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While Daddy never failed, hearts do. He had stent after stent procedure, more than 20 in all. He’d have more heart attacks, He’d have two strokes. He’d go to rehab and fight his way back. In the end, a few weeks shy of his 75 birthday, the fight ended 10 years ago.  No body ever said life was going to be fair.

At the hospital, the priest came to give him Last Rites. He didn’t speak english well. He asked me to read the passage from the bible. In part it read:

Matthew 11:27
​
“All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”

When I finished reading, my daddy took my hand and told the priest, “This is my son.” Struggling with his English and trying to understand, the priest questioned him. My daddy said again, “This is my son.” And I am his son. It will always be in my heart.

He is forever in mine. By his example, he taught me how to live with dignity, integrity, and grace- and by those same qualities, he taught me how to die. He never gave up, or in-or quit. He fulfilled the verses in 2 Timothy 4: 7, 8, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge will award to me on that day-and not only to me, but to all those who have longed for his appearing.”   Well done good and faithful servant!

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!  

Your daughter/son Sam!

Join The”Febra-lution”

I have coined a new phrase and tradition for all of us procrastinators: Febra-Lution. We all make New Year’s Resolutions. Mine was to step up my prayer life, start writing my blog once a week, AGAIN, and get to the gym several times a week, AGAIN. Well, here it is, a month and a half into the New Year, my first blog. I have been to the gym three times, and prayer life is a work in progress. Hence Febra-Lution, the real-time to start anew.

We all put off the important over the urgent – work, family, and fires to put out. My husband suffered chest pains after Christmas. Like most men, he ignored it for days, even going to work and the gym daily. Finally, he went to the ER, only to find out he had two pulmonary embolisms and two blood clots in his leg. We had gotten him there just in time. Why do we put off the most important because work or life gets in the way? What is it about us that says we do not deserve better? Why do we settle when there is so much more if we only stop running around?

The author of the Narnia book and film series, C.S. Lewis, nailed it.
“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

We need the holiday at the sea. We need to stress what is important. Life is but a flash. Here today and gone tomorrow. We learned this at the hospital over the holidays. God will slow us down to get our attention. He has immeasurably more for us than we can ask or imagine-infinite joy! He is more than able to change our lives and hearts. He tells us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). That is the “important” and is far better than what we want.

It is not too late to start anew! God is waiting to hear from you and to bless you. Stop making mud pies. Come to the sea. Join the Febra-lution! I started writing today. Tomorrow the gym!

Fan of Kelliann

Newborns either love sleep or don’t sleep at all.  Kelliann came home from the hospital the sleepiest baby of all time.  I bragged to everyone about what a good sleeper she was, how I had to wake her to nurse her.  My dad cautioned me not to be so bold.  Babies change as quickly as you change diapers.  As so it happened. She became more wakeful…..at night, all night. She had her days and nights mixed.  One sleepless night, when nothing seemed to tire her out, I exclaimed, “I’m not a FAN OF KELLIANN!”  I’m not proud of that moment  Fatigue is mean like that. But oh, how fleeting that moment was. This baby girl who stole my heart the moment she came into the world, would become my best friend, my mini-me, partner in crime TV watching, Target shopper and margarita lover.  And she makes me laugh like no one else.

She graduates from the University of North Carolina-Greensboro today.  Where did the baby go who clutched six pacifiers in her hands, switching one our for another.? What happened to the little girl who I would chase around and around the house when Jeffrey went to school? Her squeals filling the air,  Where is the orange life jacket clad little one who adamantly motioned to the lifeguard with which water slide she wanted to go down at the water park?  Where is my girl who carried her Lovey Lamb with her every where she went for comfort. Where is my star of grade school and middle school talent shows fearlessly singing Taylor Swift songs?

Kelliann has done so many things to make us proud, excellent grades, managed the high school yearbook, made varsity in softball her freshman year as the pitcher. She went on missions trip to inner cities, played with the children, worked on rundown buildings and shared the love of Christ. She’s worked her way through college.  She changed majors midway through college to Nutrition and Dietetics, doubling down on the course work to graduate on time.  Cum Laude.

Of all the things I am proudest of is her tenacity to endure heartbreak, heartache and adversity.  In troubling times she turned to God.  She asked for help.  She used it all as means to grow into the compassionate, loving and mature person she is.  I watched her with grace and mercy move on from the pains of growing up, always striving to move forward,  She loves completely whole heartedly.

When you are a mother, the desire of you heart is that your child not suffer, to break their fall, or as my mom used to say, “I wish I had a magic wand to make all this go away”. But when would the shaping and molding happen? It is our experiences that make us who we are,  They can make us or break us. Kelliann always chose to be made more into the image and likeness of Jesus, who suffered heartbreak, heartache and rejection first.  I am so impressed by the devotionals on her nightstand, how she offers to pray with or for friends who are struggling,  She has truly lived up to the verse we gave her when we dedicated her to God. “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22;37-39)

She is leaving at the end of the summer for graduate school.  Some days I am overwhelmed by the thought of her not being here.  How I will miss her and all that she brings into my life,  But there are more lives for her to touch and change. There are more experiences to learn and grow her,  She goes and she goes with God with her.  I suspect there will be another source of comfort with her.  That Lovey Lamb is never far from her.  Even though she is a grown woman, there’s still a little girl in there.  She will always be My Baby. And I will always be A FAN OF KELLIANN!