Fan of Kelliann

Newborns either love sleep or don’t sleep at all.  Kelliann came home from the hospital the sleepiest baby of all time.  I bragged to everyone about what a good sleeper she was, how I had to wake her to nurse her.  My dad cautioned me not to be so bold.  Babies change as quickly as you change diapers.  As so it happened. She became more wakeful…..at night, all night. She had her days and nights mixed.  One sleepless night, when nothing seemed to tire her out, I exclaimed, “I’m not a FAN OF KELLIANN!”  I’m not proud of that moment  Fatigue is mean like that. But oh, how fleeting that moment was. This baby girl who stole my heart the moment she came into the world, would become my best friend, my mini-me, partner in crime TV watching, Target shopper and margarita lover.  And she makes me laugh like no one else.

She graduates from the University of North Carolina-Greensboro today.  Where did the baby go who clutched six pacifiers in her hands, switching one our for another.? What happened to the little girl who I would chase around and around the house when Jeffrey went to school? Her squeals filling the air,  Where is the orange life jacket clad little one who adamantly motioned to the lifeguard with which water slide she wanted to go down at the water park?  Where is my girl who carried her Lovey Lamb with her every where she went for comfort. Where is my star of grade school and middle school talent shows fearlessly singing Taylor Swift songs?

Kelliann has done so many things to make us proud, excellent grades, managed the high school yearbook, made varsity in softball her freshman year as the pitcher. She went on missions trip to inner cities, played with the children, worked on rundown buildings and shared the love of Christ. She’s worked her way through college.  She changed majors midway through college to Nutrition and Dietetics, doubling down on the course work to graduate on time.  Cum Laude.

Of all the things I am proudest of is her tenacity to endure heartbreak, heartache and adversity.  In troubling times she turned to God.  She asked for help.  She used it all as means to grow into the compassionate, loving and mature person she is.  I watched her with grace and mercy move on from the pains of growing up, always striving to move forward,  She loves completely whole heartedly.

When you are a mother, the desire of you heart is that your child not suffer, to break their fall, or as my mom used to say, “I wish I had a magic wand to make all this go away”. But when would the shaping and molding happen? It is our experiences that make us who we are,  They can make us or break us. Kelliann always chose to be made more into the image and likeness of Jesus, who suffered heartbreak, heartache and rejection first.  I am so impressed by the devotionals on her nightstand, how she offers to pray with or for friends who are struggling,  She has truly lived up to the verse we gave her when we dedicated her to God. “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22;37-39)

She is leaving at the end of the summer for graduate school.  Some days I am overwhelmed by the thought of her not being here.  How I will miss her and all that she brings into my life,  But there are more lives for her to touch and change. There are more experiences to learn and grow her,  She goes and she goes with God with her.  I suspect there will be another source of comfort with her.  That Lovey Lamb is never far from her.  Even though she is a grown woman, there’s still a little girl in there.  She will always be My Baby. And I will always be A FAN OF KELLIANN!