Letting Go of Bitterness: Lessons in Forgiveness

Ask anyone who knows me or even remotely knows me; I am never at a loss for words. Teachers always noted on my report card, “Talks Too Much.” It followed me into adulthood when I became the social director of the workplace. An unofficial title and sometimes an unwelcome one from management. But I did spread bonding friendships in the newsroom.

One of those relationships turned nasty when one of my dearest friends believed a lie about me. Nothing I said fixed it.

I took it to God. When I had none, I turned to His words, remembering a sermon that said God loves when we pray scripture.

Every day, I prayed Ephesians 4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

Six months passed. I prayed daily and took it to the Lord. I didn’t try to plead my case with my friend, only to God. One day, my phone rang. It was my friend asking, “Will you forgive me?” 

Without thinking, the story of Clara Barton, the founder of the American Red Cross, popped into my head. One day, someone reminded her of a vicious thing done to her years before. She acted as if she had never heard of the incident. “Don’t you remember it?” a friend asked. “No,” came Barton’s reply, “I distinctly remember forgetting it.“

I said the same thing to my friend, not because Clara Barton said it, but because God did. Verse 32 says, “Forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.” If a perfect God can forgive imperfect people, how can we not forgive one another? 

I prayed this verse not only for my friend but also for me. Holding on to bitterness, rage, brawling, slander, and malice hurts us more than it hurts others. Letting go allows God to do the work. 

Whenever I am asked how I know God is real, I tell this story. None of my human efforts changed this situation. Believe me, I used all my words! When I took God at His word, He accomplished what He alone can- changed hearts, both mine and my friend.